It's been almost a year and a half. I am completely different than the woman I used to be. On the positive side, I am a lot less controlling, a lot less jealous, and way more carefree. I understand what I can change versus what I can't control, and choose to not sweat the things I can't change. I've come to accept that nothing in the world is permanent except for being, and that gives me the strength to deal with whatever comes. I am living the cliche that "it can always be worse." I know for a fact that it can be worse. I also have learned to follow my heart. However, my confidence has taken a huge hit. I am painfully self concious about how I sound, and unfortunately it affects my ability to form and maintain relationships. I know 95% of it is just me being silly; I know I shouldn't worry about it, and just be myself, but more often than I'd like, I let it get the best of me. There have been situations where I know I should have said or done something, but I let my fear of speaking up take over. I'm working on that, promise. On the other hand, it helps weed out people who I shouldn't concern myself with; if someone is shallow enough to care about how I sound, then I probably shouldn't waste my time on them. I think it's really funny that there are so many people who want to ask why I speak the way I do but don't because they feel the need to be so polite. I want to tell them that asking is ok! Haha. I have no secrets :)
I run, a lot. Earlier this year I was running 35-40 miles a week. I ran enough that I burnt myself out, haha. I'm on a break now, but starting to ramp up my mileage again. There are so many trails near where I live; just today I ran 4 miles in Cougar Mountain State Park, and it was absolutely beautiful. And to think it ranks towards the bottom in terms of beautiful parks in the PNW. I found a trainer here, and though I miss Anthony dearly, I have a good feeling about Nick.
Gibson has really grown up. He'll be 2 in September. He weighs about 50 lbs now, all muscle. The veterinarian told me he weighs about 10-15 lbs more than a dog his size should, so his extra weight is all lean muscle! I'm glad I'm his favorite person; I would not want to cross him. He's become a serious trail dog. He's so athletic and so loyal; he once ran 24 miles without leaving my side (off leash)! He listens to me and is very well voice-trained. I hardly ever leash him. The best part is that he listens to me and not really to other people. I recently switched him to a raw diet. He only eats raw meat now, along with whole eggs and dried liver. I have to say I'm really happy with the diet and would highly recommend it to any dog owner. His coat is softer and shiner, his teeth are sparkly white, his doggie breath is gone, and best of all, his poops are not smelly and look more like coyote scat than dog poop. I spoil him too. Chicken and pork are the cheapest ($0.79-$2.99/lb), but maybe twice a month I splurge and get him beef, lamb or duck, He loves it!
He's truly my best friend. Right now he's sleeping curled up next to me as I write this.
There are so many things I want to do around here. I want to hike Rainier, I want to do the Hood to Coast Relay, I want to go to the San Juan Islands and go whale watching, I want to go to the botanical gardens (UW and Bellevue), I want to go to Vancouver, and snowboarding at Whistler. I want to check out all the cool restaurants that have been recommended to me, and I want to go to Elysian Brewing in Capitol Hill. And I've been told the Theo chocolate factory is in Fremont right next to a belgian beer bar. Must go. I also really want to go camping. I have not taken Gibson backpacking, and I think it would be so much fun!
But for all the things I want to do, sometimes the most satisfying thing is taking Gibson on a trail run, followed by enjoying a beer on my balcony. Or watching a sunset with good friends. It's all about the simple things.
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